SHAVINGS FROM MY HEAD

aaaagggghhhh…the closing.

….pop the cork!…

now…let the projects begin.

…should I….buy it or not? I wondered. Was I…being practical or frivolous? Am I….I questioned, taking care of myself: avoiding the bad 50%—the “50% from my generation who will retire below the poverty line?”……..

Everything, I concluded, worth improving ones life, generally requires a certain amount of risk.

And said risk generally comes accessorized with a little fear.

Currently I’m wearing a lot of accessories. More than I consider tasteful or appropriate.

But I like my accessories…..what can I say? They can make or break any ensemble.

Additionally, I determined that there would be no hope of affording future accessories, (a dreary look) were I to retire below the poverty line—The bad 50%.

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Three weeks ago I bought a house in Palm Springs; a getaway place that will—if all goes well—eventually become a mortgage-free retirement home for the final stages of my maturing process. My conclusive resting stop—ending my era in the good 50%.

Yet, it felt odd to do such a thing with unemployment figures so elevated, jobs so scarce and the world’s money situation sooooo bleak.

At times, I felt practical.

Other times, I felt like Imelda Marcos.

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If I’m going to take the leap, I thought, then let it be in a comforting pair of shoes! The appropriate accessory.

Thus, before signing a million pieces of paper (loan docs), I decided to accessorize with the shoes I’ve been wearing since I was 12: a pair of (this seasons) Jack Purcell leather high tops.

It’s odd how certain things from ones formative years can become, then remain, so comforting for decades to follow—even providing support when considering retirement; the possibility of walking with one of those walkers with the wheels that the old folks pimp out with tennis balls.

I first wore Jacks, purchased by my father with the hopes of enticing me into his obsessive, passionate love of tennis. Now I was picturing them accessorizing tennis balls affixed to my accompanying walker.

******************************************

Stepping into new territory always feels big, scary.

What if I trip and fall, fail miserably? So I sat. To put things into perspective.

Suddenly it all felt less scary, miniscule…

….and the unknown future became exciting, a smart, stylish step forward.

But maybe I’m mistaken and I’ll end up in the bad 50%, below the poverty line…

…or maybe, like Imelda, I’ll retire, slipping quietly into seclusion…..

…..with a significant stride and a million pairs of shoes….

Imelda Marcos is sometimes referred to as the Steel Butterfly or the Iron Butterfly. She is often remembered for symbols of the extravagance of her husband’s political reign, including her collection of 2700 pairs of shoes.

…..Hilary Swank to Arnold Schwarzenegger

Henry Moore to Marcia (Christine Taylor- Marcia from the Brady Bunch)

Lisa Kudrow to Delta Burke

Vivica A Fox to Anita Hill

Kate Bush to Paul Anka

Peter Bogdanovich to Emily Bronte’….

….what more could I ask for as “company” at my birthday party?

….and I can tell you

my love for you will still be strong

after the toys of summer have gone.

As of late he’d been sad, and creatively hurtin’….

…..as if trapped underneath, a gloomy black curtain.

Then he entered the halls, of a place they call LACMAaaa….

….when that feeling first swirled, to bring him back aaagh.

First the darkness got darker, but the figures grew bright….

….as the sketches gave his darkness, a feeling of might.

At first he was scared, but his mind began flirtin’….

….cuz’ the shadows felt right, as he drew in Tim Burton.

From the man who drew darkness, back into the light….

….the swirling went faster felt, his creative took flight.

“I’m in love with this man, and of what I am seeing”….

….”there are others like me, who question their being!”

Still he worried that his thoughts, might no longer be grand….

…then a view of the glove, with the scissors on hand.

“Has my sentence in life, made creative a dead word?”…

…but he cut out such thoughts, as he looked to Edward.

Such a showing of dark, killed his feeling of wary….

…he’d found life could be perfect, and a little bit scary!

Though still scared of the darkness, he knew one thing for certain….

….that his darkness drew life, off a visit with Burton!

Go see it! Amazing!

The Dead-End!

..the weather is A-MAZ-ING today!

Why I love in L.A.

shooting…Hollywood and Mine…..

Another year. Another Red Carpet. Another Golden Globes.

So there I was, way, way, w-a-y down the Red Carpet, where I got the chance to chat with the stars, and lay out a few of my Golden Eggs….

24 Karat Golden Yes =

• J Lo without the cape—still knows how to serve Maria Callas.
• Johnny Depp—I love you, but please shower and lose the gum.
• January Jones starring as Cybil Shepard..and THANKFULLY channeling her inner Grace Kelly.
• Tilda Swindon starring in vintage Sharon Stone.
• George Kotslopoulos…Yummy…nice to have a fresh face on the carpet…still want to sleep with you.
• Halle Berry—Can do no wrong…
• Julianna Margulise = Chic. Period.
• Piper Perabo = Ditto. Chic.
• Bruce Willis = BIG yummy yes…as sexy and handsome as ever.
• Eva Longoria = understated and elegant.
• John Hamm = Yum. Period.
• Robert Downey Jr. = Golden Goodness all around.
• Bryan Cranston = You are good-bad.
• Christian Bale starring as Jesus Christ. Religious but hot.

10 Karat Golden No =

• Christina Aguilera starring as Mae West. No.
• Anne Hathaway lose the shoulder pads..but your body looks amazing.
• Scarlett Johansen starring as Barbara Mandrell BIG NO! Not even as Elsa Lanchester in The Bride of Frankenstein
• Giuliana Rancic needs to eat SOMETHING.
• Heidi Klum starring as Rachel Zoe. No. Go back to being an angel.
• Christina Hendricks as Arlene Dahl. When will you get it right?
• Megan Fox starring as the new Angelia Jolie. Hot.
• Tracy Osborne…Why? Are? You? Even? There?
• Angelina Jolie starring in a BAD remake of Logan’s (green) runaway. No.
• That fucking Glamistrator — BEYOND annoying. No.
• Sandy Bullock—what happened? Um…no.
• Helena Bonham Carter – No, but I appreciate the mismatched shoes.

100 Percent Gold – Most Natural = Kera Sedgwick, Annette Bening, Robert Downey, Edie Falco, Natalie Portman, Colin Firth

The Golden Oldies – Still looks great after all these years = Katey Sagal, Bruce Willis, Tilda Swinton, Michelle Pfeiffer (sans dress), Milla Jovoich, Robert Downey Jr., Vanessa Williams and Jane Fonda

The Golden Closet = Ryan Seacrest , Kevin Spacey.

The Golden (gay) Bar = For raising it: Jane Lynch, Jim Parsons and an extra karat for Chris Colfer.

The Golden Touch – Class Act(ing) = Annette Bening, Jane Lynch, Natalie Portman, Colin Firth, Claire Danes. Wonderful speeches.

The Golden Shower – for pissing all over it goes to Rickie Gervais for being totally inappropriate. Like this title..here’s to you Rickie…

Write Gold — Overall takeaway = Too much Kleenexish detailing on the dresses. Too much emerald green. Too much Ricky Gervais.

Golden Dust –Unanswered Questions:

• When will Ryan Seacrest come out? And when will he admit that he slept with Merv Griffin?
• How much will Rickie Gervis get sued for tonight’s show? And will he ever work again?
• Is Diane Warren (song writer from Burlesque) Patti Stanger (Millionaire Matchmaker) and Liza Minnelli’s long lost and slightly retarded sister?

The Golden Karat -Overall Winner. And the Golden Karat goes to….

…..Natalie Portman—for her eloquent speech, chic hair and make up, and doing a pretty good job balancing her style with her pregnant state with red carpet evening dressing. Your are the Black Swan who laid the Golden Egg.

So there it is…until next time.

Tape Off

For Fifty years, he’d measured the events of his life with marked precision—as if standing on a scale, staring down between his feet, aware that one wrong move, and the black stick would flutter, then lunge in the wrong direction: a fat chance this would only add more weight to his distress over purpose.

With a lifetime of calculated focus, he’d been the ruler of his destiny—inching toward success, while only possessing a dim understanding of what that might be.

The mid-century mark, forced him to reconsider his existence, to assess its length. Had the scored achievements of his life led him to the appropriate stage?

A Measured Man has much at stake.

His life’s been marked, with cuts to make.

The tape employed, has determined marks….

….from serious scoring, of life’s remarks.

A Measured Man is good you see.

He stops and gages how to be.

But to what degree….

….should he or shouldn’t he?

Concern himself with life’s decree?

P.S. stands for postscript. It means something added after a letter or other written communication. Like to add a detail.

So..to write about how much I enjoyed my relaxation time in Palm Springs would have taken too long, too much time away from writing other things and relaxing. So I’ll share my visit to ps with a ps of photos, little snippets of my BIG life…ps..here goes….

ps MiniMe

PS more MiniMe

PS Pool Time

( note the cool reflections while I was reflecting)

Went to The Ace for a change of pace…ps, it was w-a-y too crowded

So…PS, I still love Palm Springs.

….The final shot rolled in his direction.

Life now assumed a black and white viewpoint.

He considered his angle, each hole, each option.

With measured perspective…

…the relationship cues’ had each played themselves out.

Points, both won and lost, had all been taken then tabled.

Ball to ball, with each decisive angle, every calculated shot now complete….

….was life a numbers game?

Shots to be played?

Won or lost?

Eight, he thought…

….game over or the victorious beginning of a new setup?