The Fire Island Diaries-Pining Away Over The Past
Sunday, July 25, 2010
I haven’t written for several weeks! Caught in the up and down and in and out of life—eventually crossing the country from L.A. to New York and back to my favorite place: Fire Island.
Here for another visit, all I have to say is that I love and miss Fire Island as I figured I probably would. It is still that one place in which, although I cannot (and do not) return the same each visit, still this place, its dock and shoreline engulf my emotions as eloquently as ever.
And then, I went to tea.
Admittedly, for all the years I’ve delightfully recalled the odd, varied and fantastical concoction of gay life that assembles at tea, quite simply, it has changed. To put it bluntly—while openly acknowledging my age—instead of being a middleman, I am now one of a small group that make up the elderly demographic of tea-goers. Sadly, FI has lost that ever-inclusive teatime crowd of 20 to 70—fussy decorator to muscle-twink, artist to banker. The elderly (it appears) have had enough and the twinks—perfectly chiseled and outfitted in the same Aberzombie cargo shorts, now form a line that dominates the dick-dock as if a row of dominoes has been flicked by a drunken index finger and knocked into a haphazard, yet nearly identical configuration. This probably discourages the elderly queens, as it (now) does me, while instantly propelling me to the head of the elderly class. And, although it does not influence my daily life—especially because I have been living in across the country forever—it taints this thing that happens to me when I’m here.
It is like homo coming home.
I have always cherished Fire Island, finding a place in myself that is deeper than usual—more emotional. And said feelings have forever fostered imaginings of more peaceful, clandestine encounters with other man of like mind and spiritual connectedness. Thus, tea was a bit of a shock, and all I was able to do—while nursing my cranberry and tonic—was single out men from the crowd; familiar, albeit weathered faces from my past life…..now oldies, searching for goodies.